


blood and sugar

by AngelWithAStory



Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series), Dimension 20: A Crown of Candy
Genre: Angst, Denial of Feelings, Episode Spoilers, First Meetings, Heresy, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Political Alliances, Secret Relationship, Secrets, fast burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:42:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23915500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelWithAStory/pseuds/AngelWithAStory
Summary: Nothing about their friendship had ever been either conventional or friendly. In fact, Theobald was being terribly optimistic by calling it a friendship. (Rivalry felt more appropriate, but that felt like admitting there was even a sliver of a chance that Lapin could best him.)The long history of Theobald Gumbar and Lapin Cadbury, and why they hate each other.
Relationships: Lapin Cadbury & Theobald Gumbar, Theobald Gumbar/Lapin Cadbury
Comments: 31
Kudos: 198





	1. hands so bloody, tastes like honey

**Author's Note:**

> you ever write something that's so self-indulgent that even you have to sit back and wonder why you just wrote what you wrote?? anyway, here's some mildly spicy theo/lapin 
> 
> chapter title from The Prologue by Halsey

Nothing about their friendship had ever been either conventional or friendly. In fact, Theobald was being _terribly_ optimistic by calling it a friendship. (Rivalry felt more appropriate, but that felt like admitting there was even a sliver of a chance that Lapin could best him.)

Lapin was never terribly warm, even when he first arrived at the castle. In fact, it took Theobald a few days to even meet the Chancellor after he arrived - and even then it was a chance encounter. 

The Royal family had retired a few hours earlier and Theobald was allowing himself one final check of the castle before retiring to his own bed. His knightly title had only been placed upon his shoulders many years ago, but he took his duties seriously. 

(He also justified his choices by remembering how he had managed to catch the young Princesses sneaking out of their room and making their way to the kitchen more than once). 

The Concords may have declared peace, but the House of Rocks still had enemies, and the Ravening War was still a painful scar in Theobald’s mind. If it allowed him to sleep easier, Theobald really didn’t mind the midnight patrols. 

He had turned the corner to a hallway that led to the foyer when something caught his attention. 

Something was moving down the hallway towards him. 

There was the faintest light growing brighter, and Theo made his decision quickly. He drew his weapon and put his back against the wall, trying to hide in the shadows as best he could. Already, his heart was beating faster and his breathing had quickened. 

The light was growing closer. 

Theobald tightened his grip on his weapon. 

Then he nearly dropped it. 

“Oh, good evening Chancellor Cadbury. My apologies, I thought you were an intruder,” Theobald said, quickly moving away from the shadows into the dim light. 

The Primogen regarded him for a moment. He was an image of divinity - richly coloured robes, well-kempt, and a palm-sized sphere in his hands that was glowing with a soft, yellow light. 

“Good evening,” The Chancellor said, nodding his head very slightly in acknowledgement. “You must be Sir Gumbar.”

“Theobald, yes,” Theo said, sheathing his weapon again and standing at ease. He took a second to observe Lapin Cadbury. There were some small flecks of mud along the bottom edge of his robe and a very small stain along the cuff of his sleeve as he held the light between them. That piqued Theo’s curiosity for just a moment, but he gathered himself. “It’s pretty late, Chancellor. Is everything alright?” 

“Everything is fine,” Chancellor Cadbury said, calm and even and clipped, “I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to go for a walk along the grounds.”

“By yourself?” Theo asked, frowning deeply, “Chancellor, what if there was an incursion? You shouldn’t travel by yourself at night.”

“Well, I was perfectly alright tonight. But I shall keep that in mind for the future,” Chancellor Cadbury said mildly. He regarded Theo for a moment, holding his light steady between them. “What are you doing at this hour? You’re still in armour.” 

“I was doing one last patrol before I slept for the night,” Theo said. The expression on the Chancellor’s face was unreadable as he scrutinised Theobald for a long, quiet moment. 

Theo cleared his throat after a moment, relaxing his posture. 

“Well, Chancellor, the night’s not getting any younger. May I escort you back to your room?” Theo asked, puffing out his chest and trying to look as knightly as possible. 

Chancellor Cadbury looked like he wanted to protest for a second. But after a moment, he just sighed. 

“Very well, Sir Gumbar.” He said, already beginning to move along the hallway past Theo. Theo was stunned for just a second before easily falling in line.

“You can just call me Theobald, Chancellor,” Theo said, still keeping an eye out for any dangers that could possibly surprise them. He glanced over at his companion and caught the Chancellor looking away from him. “If you feel inclined to, of course.” 

Silence settled between them for most of the walk, and Theo felt a small pit of dread settle in his stomach. Of _course_ , he would make a Primogen of the Bulbian Church uncomfortable in their first meeting. (How typical of him.) 

He knew that Chancellor Cadbury was Candian - and that Candia had _certain_ views on magic (both arcane and divine) that would be hard for a Holy man to ignore. All his years as Ward to Princess Lazuli had made that painfully clear. Still, he reminded himself that he didn't want to give the Primogen a reason to suspect anything. 

Theo needed to be smarter about how he interacted with the Castle’s new addition. 

“My room is down here.” Chancellor Cadbury finally spoke up, taking a sharp left and holding his light slightly higher. He stopped outside what Theo assumed was his door and turned to face him. “Thank you for the escort, and for the company, I suppose.” His voice was curt, but not unfriendly. 

“It was no trouble, Chancellor,” Theo said, stopping as well. “As long as you stay with House Rocks as the Princesses tutor, you’ll be under my protection as well.” 

“That is good to know.” Chancellor Cadbury said. He opened his door with his free hand, peering inside for a second before turning to Theo a final time. “Goodnight, Sir Theobald.” 

“Goodnight Chancellor,” Theo said, waiting for the door to close with a soft _click_ , before moving away down the hallway to finish his patrol. 

*

It was a few more weeks before Theo had a chance to talk with Chancellor Cadbury again. 

Of course, he would see him in passing as he went about his duties, or the King and Queen would mention him when talking about the Princesses and their lessons. 

But they hadn’t had a conversation since their first meeting. 

At least until Theo had a knock at the door. 

It had been a long day of training recruits, and the sun had already set by the time Theo dragged himself back to his accommodation. His armour was muddied and discarded on the floor beside his bed. Any good Knight would know never to leave their armour in a dishonourable state, so Theo found himself sitting on his floor, back against his bed frame, dutifully scrubbing the dirt, sweat and mud from his golden suit.

It was a boring job, but Theo did it anyway, pushing aside how heavy his limbs felt or how his muscles ached or how the dried lifeblood felt sticky against his skin. He had a duty, and by the Bulb, he was going to fulfil it, even if it took him all night. 

Which was why he was surprised when there was a knock at his door. 

And even more surprised when it was Chancellor Cadbury on the other side of his door. 

“Chancellor? Is something wrong in the castle?” Theo asked, feeling his years of training beginning to kick in as he began to scan the grounds for any sign of intruder or danger. 

“No, nothing so dramatic,” The Chancellor said, standing as prim and proper as always. It was the middle of the night, yet he didn’t look tired at all. “May I come in?”

“Er, sure,” Theo said, stepping aside from the door. He could smell something earthy on the Chancellor as he passed, “If you don't mind me asking, what are you doing here so late at night?”

“The Princesses informed me earlier today that you’re going to teach them how to fight.” Chancellor Cadbury said evenly. He was looking around the room nonchalantly, and only occasionally glancing at Theo, like he was gauging his reaction.

It was a modest living space, even for a royal knight, and Theo kept his environment neat as a point of pride. So with the Chancellor in his room, he felt overly conscious of the half-cleaned armour besides his bed and the bucket of dirty water beside it. 

“What- That ridiculous, they’re seven.” Theo blurted out, momentarily forgetting himself.

“They might benefit from directing their _excess_ energy into simple combat.” Chancellor Cadbury offered, his expression unreadable. 

“They’re Princesses. We’re in a time of peace. They don’t need to know how to fight.” Theo said, keeping his voice firm like it was the Chancellor he needed to convince. He almost missed the tiniest hint of a smirk on the Chancellor’s face when he quickly walked past to collect his armour and move it out sight. 

The air between them was awkward. Theo couldn’t help cataloguing every way he wasn’t up to his own standard. His dirtied armour hadn’t been cleaned yet, he was in his nightwear whilst the other was in his robes, he hadn’t had a chance to clean his wounds from the day, he was-

Theo jumped as a hand gently touched his shoulder. 

The Chancellor stood beside him, quietly examining the small scrapes and cuts along his exposed arm. 

“Everything alright there, Chancellor?” Theo asked, trying to subtly move away from the Chancellor's warm touch. The back of his knees hit the edge of his bed and Theo felt a shift in the air. 

“How did you get hurt?” Chancellor Lapin asked, “I thought we were in a time of peace.” His tone had the barest hint of humour in it and Theo didn’t know how to process that. 

“Training the new recruits got a little out of hand. They’re very...enthusiastic.” Theo admitted. He was hyper-aware of how close they stood and how strange this situation was. Why was a Primogen of the Church in his living quarters? Why was he examining his wounds? Why was Theo’s heartbeat so loud?

“Sit down, let me heal you.” Chancellor Cadbury said. His tone almost left no room for argument. Almost. 

“Chancellor, it’s fine. They’re not serious-”

“I am a Miracle Worker, I can spare a simple healing spell.” 

Theo watched the Chancellor’s face, looking for some ruse or ulterior motive. He couldn’t find one, but he knew that just meant he couldn’t see it. Not that it didn’t exist. 

“Sir Theobald, I’m not going to hurt you.” Chancellor Lapin said, a tinge of exasperation in his voice.

“Can’t blame me for being cautious,” Theo said ruefully. He sat on the edge of his bed, keeping his hands on the cover beside him. 

The air suddenly felt thick in Theo’s lungs as the Chancellor stepped forwards and held his hands out either side of Theo’s face. His hands glowed a soft yellow light and Theo closed his eyes instinctively. 

Instantly, he could feel the ache in his muscles dissipate, and the grazes along his skin numb like a cool balm. He’d felt magic before, (and something ached in his chest as he thought of Princess Lazuli), but this felt different. Unlike the arcane Theo had studied. 

Theo’s eyes were still closed as the glow began to fade. Just before he opened them again to look up at the Chancellor, he paused. There was a new smell in the air: sweeter than usual; something both familiar and unfamiliar all at once. It was almost intoxicating. 

Theo looked up at the Chancellor, who was watching him closely. There was something almost _nervous_ in the tension of his shoulders. 

All at once, Theo realised he now knew a very dangerous secret about the other man. 

He didn’t know what that meant, or what he should do with that information. 

But he had it now. 

And they were both very aware of that. 

Theo didn’t remember when he’d moved, but he realised his hands were gripping the waist of Lapin's robes, and Lapin’s hands were on his shoulders. 

They were both standing at the edge of some great abyss. Staring at each other to see who would back away first. 

Or if they would fall in. 

Slowly - hesitantly, in case Theo pulled away - Lapin’s hand moved down to his chest and began to _push_. 

And Theo let himself fall. 

His back hit his thin mattress and Lapin loomed over him. One knee either side of him. His hands on Lapin’s hips.

“You’re not going to get in trouble with the church, are you, Chancellor?” Theo asked, his voice raspy in the dead silence of the night. 

“Not over this,” Lapin promised.

“Very well, then,” Theo said, the barest hint of a smirk on his face. “Though there is something you should know first,” He said. 

“And that is?” Lapin asked, drawing back just the slightest amount. 

Theo gave Lapin no warning as he suddenly lifted the other man and flipped their position, laying Lapin gently on his meagre bed. He flashed a smile to the shocked expression on Lapin's face. 

“I don’t fight fair,” Theo said.


	2. sugar coated, lies unfolded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fair warning, this gets a little spicy towards the end - i may or may not bump the rating up because of it.
> 
> title is from candy - doja cat
> 
> I'm not planning a 3rd chapter, but I'm also not gonna say it'll never happen...

Their _arrangement_ lasted for longer than Theo ever thought it would.

It wasn’t all that frequent, either. There was no pattern to it, no formal agreement, and Theo almost preferred it that way. 

The most warning he ever got was a knock on his door late at night. 

Then they would begin their usual game. 

Only a few words would pass between them - just to confirm they both wanted to keep playing - and the rules were simple: don’t get attached, and don’t expect Lapin to stay the night. (They both had a reputation to uphold, after all.)

Theo couldn’t even pretend that he didn’t enjoy their little game. 

He liked it when something was bothering Lapin and his only way to rid himself of that frustration was to track Theo down and tear his clothes off him. He liked being pliant under Lapin’s touch. Liked it when Lapin was almost begging Theo by the end of it. He even liked the preamble; those little, soft touches and helping each other undress with only those few words of assurance. 

But that was only during the night. 

During the day, what little interactions they had were distant, with the occasional jab thrown in there just to amuse themselves. They would barely exchange a few sentences when Theo was returning the Princesses to their lesson (after they would inevitably try to sneak away through alarmingly more elaborate means). 

It was an unspoken agreement between them: they _weren’t_ friends, but they would still sleep together once in a while. 

Of course, it was a strange arrangement. 

But it was what worked for them.

*

The Princesses had gotten out of bed again. 

It wasn’t unusual behaviour for the young girls - not by a long shot - but it had been a little while since they’d done it. 

Even from down the corridor, Theo could hear their quiet conversation against the silence of the castle. His footsteps were relatively silent on the stone floor despite the armour, and Theo felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end the closer he was to the kitchen. 

Something wasn’t right. 

He could hear the Princesses better now. They were trying to be as quiet (or as quiet as two children who were convinced no one else could possibly be awake at this time of night could be) and Theo could hear a cupboard open and close quietly. Theo stopped, straining his hearing for just a moment. His lifeblood ran cold. 

He could hear the Princesses, definitely. 

He could also hear another voice. 

Before Theo had registered his own movements, he was holding a copper wire to his mouth. Part of him wanted to confirm any danger before he called for backup, but a greater, more experienced part of him knew to trust his gut. 

“Gather anyone who’s awake and come to the kitchens. Something’s wrong with the Princesses.” Theo whispered into the wire. He didn’t even register who he’d sent the Message to until he got the reply. 

“ _Wrong how?_ ” Lapin asked, sounding wide-awake despite the late hour. 

Theo’s hand was already pressed against the door. He didn’t want to waste any more time if it _was_ an emergency. 

Princess Jet’s voice rose for a second and Theo could hear the other voice laugh. He pushed open the door to the kitchens before he could talk himself out of it.

The Princesses looked over at him, wide-eyed. They were sitting on the counter, Ruby crossed-legged with Jet’s arms around her shoulders. Nothing about their outward appearance set off any immediate alarm bells, but Theo still didn’t relax just yet. He quickly scanned the kitchens, but he couldn’t see anyone else, which was... worrying.

“Good evening, Princesses,” Theo said, keeping his voice as light as possible. He didn’t want to worry the young girls if he was wrong, “It’s pretty late, what are you two doing out of bed?”

“Ruby isn’t feeling well,” Princess Jet spoke. Looking closer, Theo could see how pale she looked. “Are we in trouble?” Princess Jet asked, holding her sister closer. 

“No, you’re not in trouble,” Theo promised, softening his voice and stepping closer. He saw Princess Jet’s eyes suddenly dart from Theo to a point behind him. Theo stopped moving, but he didn’t turn to look, “Are _you_ okay, Princess Jet?” He asked, dutifully keeping himself both calm and alert. 

Nothing seemed obviously out of place, but Theo couldn’t devote much focus to investigation with the Princesses fearful, wide-eyes staring at him. 

Princess Jet silently nodded her head, adjusting her grip on her sister. 

“That’s good,” Theo said, smiling in relief. The action was a little forced, but he saw the young girls relax just a little, “Well if Princess Ruby isn’t feeling well, shall we go wake up the King and Queen?”

Princess Jet’s eyes moved to that same space behind him, and this time Theo reacted, lifting his shield just in time to block the blow. The Princesses screamed, scrambling off the counter.

Adrenaline thrummed through Theo’s lifeblood as he planted himself between the assailant and the girls. The intruder was holding a weapon that wasn’t of Candian make, but Theo was too focussed on keeping the Princess safe to really figure out where they were from. 

“Jet, take Ruby and go get your dad.” Theo ordered, sparing a brief glance at the frightened heirs, “You’re going to be okay. I promise.” Princess Ruby’s eyes were wide in panic, but she still let Princess Jet pull her towards the door. Theo moved in time with them, always using his body as a shield. 

Whoever they were, they weren’t a servant - or even someone Theo recognised, despite the Royal emblem they wore on their clothes. 

“Who are you, and why are you here?” Theobald asked, finally drawing his weapon. He didn’t expect a response, so when the assailant turned tail and ran through the servant’s entrance, Theo didn’t hesitate to follow. 

He’d lived at the castle long enough to know it inside out, there was nowhere they could hide that Theo couldn’t find. 

His lifeblood was thumping in his ears, in time with the pounding of his feet as he gave chase. 

How dare this stranger try and hurt the Princesses? How dare someone think they could get the better of Sir Theobald?

The solid ground under their feet gave way to soft dirt, but Theo barely stumbled. 

He had his target in his sights and nothing could-

Two sharp pains erupted in Theo’s side - enough to knock the wind out of Theo’s lungs and enough for his knee to hit the ground _hard._

His momentum carried him forward, enough to roll him for a few more feet. As soon as his body stopped, he couldn’t help his limbs curling inwards. The pain in his side was _blinding_. 

He didn’t remember hearing anyone approach, but he was in too much pain to fight the hands that grabbed at him and laid him on his back. 

“ _-hat’s wrong? Theobald? Can you hear me?_ ”

There was a ringing in his ears that threatened to drown out the voices. He didn’t know if he was capable of making any sound, and his vision was starting to blur at the edges. 

“ _I need some help over here!_ ”

Theo didn’t realise he was gasping for breath until suddenly it was a chore to take air into his lungs. 

Another pair of hands were on him and Theo barely had the strength to fight them off, try as he might. 

“ _Hold his arms down,"_

A... _familiar_ warmth of magic washed over him. All at once, the pain in his lifeblood eased and Theo gasped a full breath. The hands holding him down retreated. Theo blinked to clear his vision and finally turned his head to look at his helpers. 

A few of the Tartguard were stood, looking down at him, a little frightened and concerned. Calroy was kneeling by his side, his hands hovering over him like he expected Theo to lash out again. 

And most surprisingly enough, Lapin kneeling the other side of him. His eyes and hands were searching him for any undiscovered injuries, even as the healing spell faded. 

“Sir Theobald, what happened?” Calroy asked, his brow furrowed. Seemingly satisfied that there was no other threat to Theo’s health, Lapin drew back and allowed Lord Cruller and another member of the Tartguard to help Theo sit up. The motion still hurt, and Theo gripped Calroy’s arm.

“The Princesses, they-” Theo gasped out.

“Are safe with the King and Queen,” Lapin assured him. Theo nodded absently, twisting to look towards where he thought the intruder ran off. 

“We need to search the grounds and castle,” Theo said, trying to push himself to his feet already. 

“Sir Theobald, what _happened_ here?” Calroy repeated, finally being heard. 

“Someone infiltrated the castle. I found the Princesses in the kitchen with them, but as soon as I saw them they fled. I followed them out here and someone from the tree’s shot me with something. We can’t assume it was only two of them, we need to have search parties on the grounds and castle-” Theo said, finally managing to haul himself up to standing. He was unsteady, but he still held himself as a respectable knight should. (Or so he desperately tried to). 

“You’re in _no_ shape to go searching anything,” Lapin said, moving in front of Theo and staring him down. “Lord Cruller, I leave it to you to organise the patrol efforts. I’ll make sure Sir Gumbar gets some rest-”

“No,” Theo muttered, his gaze snapping to Lapin, then quickly away, “Princess Ruby said she wasn’t feeling well. You need to make sure they weren’t hurt.” He said. 

He barely saw Lapin nod his head curtly. (He definitely missed how Lapin gripped his staff in worry.)

“Very well,” Calroy spoke up when it was clear whatever discussion the other two were having was over, “Though you still need to rest Sir Theobald; you’re shaking. I’m sure the Chancellor will have some time tomorrow to check on you again.”

“Of course,” Lapin said, reflexively, “I will return to the castle and tend to the Princesses, I trust you can take it from here, Lord Cruller.”

“Absolutely. Thank you, Chancellor,” Calroy said, pulling his shoulders back and immediately directing some of his men. 

Theo caught Lapin’s final, concerned look before the Primogen turned and walked away. 

For a moment, Theo just stood and looked out over the castle. He could see Lapin’s retreating form and a few lights on in the windows of the castle. The pain in his side still lingered - faintly but still present. 

Calroy walked up beside him and cleared his throat to get his attention. 

“Sir Theobald, you do need to get some rest,” Calroy said, quietly. “Take tomorrow to rest, as well. We’ll double the patrols for a while, if only for peace of mind.” 

Theo just nodded and allowed Calroy to lead him back towards the barracks. 

There was a comfortable silence between them, even despite the night’s events. It took a few minutes for Calroy to say anything. 

“I- I don’t want to make tonight even worse,” He started, cautiously, “but, I do have a question that I’ve been meaning to ask you, Theo.” 

“What’s on your mind?” Theo asked. 

“How much do you trust the Chancellor?” 

Theo took a few seconds to mull over the question before he responded. 

“I trust him enough. I don’t _know_ him super well, but he’s a respected member of the Church, and the Queen seems to enjoy having him as the Princesses tutor.” Theo said, neatly skirting around any language that even felt like it could give anything away. He knew what he was saying was _technically_ true, but still, Theo felt the small pit of guilt in his stomach. 

Calroy nodded, mulling over the words carefully. 

“Can we talk tomorrow?” He asked. 

“About what?” 

“About the Chancellor. I’ve… _heard..._ some things from the guards,” Calroy said, slowly. “I don’t want to believe that they’re connected to tonight’s events-”

“What have they said?” Theo interrupted, pausing their walk. Calroy didn’t meet Theo’s eye for a moment. 

“A few of the guards have seen the Chancellor walking the castle grounds in the dead of night. That by itself is suspicious,” Calroy admitted. 

“When did they see him leave?” Theo asked, his brow furrowed. 

“A week or two ago, perhaps,” Calroy admitted. 

Against every sensible bone in his body - and against his own body’s wishes - Theo laughed. Not for long, as a cough took him for a moment, but enough to concern Calroy. 

Quickly, Theo got himself back under control.

“Sorry, sorry,” Theo said, “I do have an explanation for that.” 

“For the Chancellor wandering the grounds?” 

“Yes. It’s a... sensitive subject. I’d appreciate it if you would keep it strictly between us.” Theo said. 

“Theobald, I do need you to be honest with me, right now.” Calroy pressed. 

“I am being honest with you,” Theo said, taking a breath to steady himself, “I had requested to speak with the Chancellor. I asked for... a certain level of discretion between us during the encounter.” 

Calroy opened his mouth like he wanted to ask further questions before his eyes grew wide in surprise and mild scandal.

“ _Lapin_ , really Theo?” Calroy asked, smelling juicy gossip in the cola and leaning in. “A Primogen of the _Church_?” He sounded…almost delighted to learn this. (Theo didn’t realise Calroy was this eager for domestic gossip.)

“He... certainly is Holy,” Theo said, laughing along with Calroy, despite how much it hurt.

“ _Theobald_.” Calroy said, shaking his head slightly, “Still, I trust you know what you’re doing.”

“It hasn’t become a problem yet,” Theo admitted, resuming the walk back towards his home. Calroy fell in-line beside him, looking at him curiously.

“Did you...?” 

“Just that time.” Theo lied. 

“I apologise if it sounds like I’m prying for gossip-” Calroy began. 

“Again, I am telling you this in confidence, Calroy,” Theo stressed, ready to pull rank if he needed to. Luckily, Calroy just nodded and dropped the subject entirely.

*

“You’re thinking deeply about something.”

Theo started from his thoughts. Lapin had moved from where he had been laying on Theo’s chest and was looking down at him. Theo almost felt shy for being caught, but when he reached a hand out, Lapin let himself be manhandled back onto the bed, pinned between the mattress and Theo, himself. 

“Just thinking,” Theo said. He tucked his face into Lapin’s neck and mouthed at the chocolate skin there. 

“Anything you’d like to share?” Lapin asked, _just_ getting the words out as he gripped Theo’s biceps. Theo smiled as he carried on mouthing and kissing at Lapin’s neck and shoulders. 

Lapin’s hands gently cupped his face, and Theo let himself be pulled away to look him in the eye. 

“Don’t think you can distract me that easily, Sir Gumbar,” Lapin said, keeping Theo’s face in his hands even as he tried to resume kissing Lapin’s shoulder. 

“I’m a Sir now, am I?” Theo teased, turning his head and leaving a feather-light kiss on Lapin’s wrist. “Where’s this respect when it’s me against the mattress?”

“ _Theobald_.” Lapin’s voice was low (not angry, but pent up) and Theo knew he was pushing his luck. He met Lapin’s gaze and realised there was worry there. 

“I- I spoke with Calroy,” Theo said after a long, quiet moment. 

He leaned back and let Lapin push his way to sitting up, kneeling on the bed in front of him. This.... wasn’t going to be an easy conversation. But Theo didn’t know how he could take those words back now. 

“What did you talk about?” Lapin asked. 

“He asked about you,” Theo said, “and _us_. Specifically. Apparently, there’s talk amongst the guards.” 

“Gossip from idle minds,” Lapin said, dismissively. 

“Most of it is, yes,” Theo said.

“Are you so worried about your reputation, you won’t let people know you have sex?” Lapin teased, pulling Theo closer by his thighs. Theo let himself be pulled and settled again.

“It’s not _my_ reputation I’m worried about. I don’t like the other guards discussing us behind our backs.” Theo muttered, distracting himself by running his hands along Lapin’s arms. The lucky rabbit’s foot charm that Lapin always wore was pale against his chest. Idly, Theo played with the chain of it, focusing on how it caught the low lamplight. 

“Well, we can hardly control that,” Lapin said, watching Theo’s face closely. “But that’s not what’s really bothering you.” It wasn’t a question. 

“No, it’s not,” Theo said.

Lapin stilled his hands, and Theo knew his time was up. 

He really hoped he could get a few more minutes of quiet intimacy before they had this conversation.

“I-.... I don’t think we should do this again after tonight.” Theo said quietly, “My reputation doesn’t go beyond the castle, or the Tartguard. A stain on _your_ name would tarnish both the Crown and the Church.” 

Theo couldn’t meet Lapin’s gaze. He didn’t want to have to acknowledge what he just said. 

“Theobald,” Lapin said, reaching out and gently forcing Theo to look at him. His expression was closed off, but not angry. “What did Lord Cruller say to you?” 

“Nothing outright.” Theo said, “Don’t get me wrong, he trusts and respects you. But word can spread quickly, and a few of the guards mentioned seeing you walking the grounds last week.” 

“And what did you say to that?” Lapin asked, drawing back into himself even more. 

“I told him that the only time you would leave the grounds would be to meet me,” Theo said. 

Silence stretched between them, and Theo found himself to be surprised at the shocked look on Lapin’s face. 

“You hate idle gossip, but you told Lord Cruller we were having an illicit affair?” Lapin asked, disbelief colouring his voice. 

“It’s easier if he believes that _this_ is a one-time-only thing. It’s easier to sweep under the rug that way. And what would you prefer I tell him? The truth?” Theo shot back. The rest of his argument died on his tongue as he saw the expression on Lapin’s face. Gently, he pushed Theo to the side and stood up. 

Their clothes were still discarded around the room and Theo eventually pulled himself together enough to pull his own clothes back on. 

“Have you known this entire time?” Lapin’s words cut through the silence and Theo looked up at him, halfway through putting his shirt back on. 

“Have I known what?” Theo asked.

“Don’t pretend to be stupid now, Theobald.” Lapin snapped. He was stood in just his long tunic - his robes were still discarded somewhere - yet he held himself with all the command of a Primogen. 

Theo pulled his shirt over his head, using the moment to breathe. 

But Lapin wouldn’t allow him to.

“How long have you known, Theobald?” He pressed, stepping forward into Theo’s space. 

“The first time you healed me,” Theo said quietly, forcing himself to keep looking at Lapin, “you smelled of Sugar Plum.” 

“How typical, you would keep that to yourself,” Lapin muttered, turning away to pull his clothes back on. “I assume you’ll want something in exchange for your silence?” He asked. There was something in Lapin’s tone that caught Theo off-guard. 

“You really think I need to be bribed to keep this a secret?” Theo asked, latching on gratefully to the shred of anger in his chest. “Was that all _this_ was? Every time you were at my door-”

“Of course it wasn’t.” Lapin snapped, but Theo had found the way to make this easier for both of them.

“Then why did you come to me that first time? Am I just something to pass the time?” Theo demanded. He wasn’t raising his voice, and he wasn’t stepping closer, but Lapin narrowed his eyes and his shoulders grew tense. 

“Are you _trying_ to start a fight with me, Sir Theobald?” Lapin asked, voice low and dangerous. 

“Did _she_ tell you to find me?” Theo shot back, gesturing in some vague direction outside his quarters. 

Lapin’s silence told him the truth. 

Theo felt the air leave him like a punch.

“Really?” He asked. The small flame of anger in his chest began to charcoal as he watched Lapin turn away and carefully pull his robes back on over his shoulders. 

“She told me to watch for allies. I made the choice to take you to bed.” Lapin said, pulling the fabric closed. 

“So it really did mean nothing. You _used_ me-”

“Don’t be stupid-”

“ _I’m_ being stupid? At least, I know how to keep magic a secret-”

“Oh yes, because _no one_ knows that Princess Lazuli’s ward is a magic-user. Truly, your familiar alone-”

“Leave Sprinkle out of this-”

“You’re lucky Sprinkle doesn’t get you killed when you escort the Royal family outside of Candia-”

“Yes, because you’re just the _image_ of discretion-”

“Bulb above, you’re insufferable!”

They were both breathing harshly as the words petered out. 

“I don’t think we can see each other like this again,” Theo said. “Not after tonight.”

“I’m forced to agree,” Lapin admitted. 

Two steps later, Lapin’s hand was on the base of Theo’s throat and Theo’s back was pressed against the wall. There was no pressure to his grip, but still, Theo stayed where he was. His traitor heart beat quicker and Theo wanted nothing more than to sweep Lapin off his feet. 

“But for the record,” Lapin said, leaning in to whisper in Theo’s ear, “no one told me to seek you out. This was of my own accord.” 

Theo swallowed. He wanted nothing more than to reach out for Lapin. 

(His hands stayed at his side.)

“Also for the record, I have no intention of telling anyone about you. Or us.” Theo promised. Lapin pulled away enough to look Theo in the face. 

“If I asked you for one last tryst,” He asked, voice even and unreadable, “Would you indulge me?” His hand moved up, his thumb brushing against the corner of Theo’s mouth.

 _Yes._ “No.” Theo lied, ignoring the points of Lapin’s nails pressing against his chin. 

“And if the King told you to plunge your sword through my heart, would you?”

 _I don’t know._ “Yes.” Theo lied. “And I expect the same from you.” 

Lapin didn’t move away and Theo could feel his resolve growing thin. 

“What a shame you won’t indulge me one last time.” Lapin mused, easing his grip just the slightest amount. 

“If I do, I won’t keep my word,” Theo said.

“And, of course, your word is your bond,” Lapin said. 

There was no anger any more, just the bittersweet truth that there would always be something pulling against them. 

Theo touched Lapin’s cheek a final time, and leaned in. 

In all the nights they had fallen into bed together, it had never been about the emotions of it. It was always some quick and dirty fun with someone who _knew_. The momentary safety of someone else’s arms and the weight of another body. Being able to release some pent up energy with someone who wouldn’t judge you for it. They rarely cuddled afterwards, and Lapin never stayed the night. 

That was their unspoken agreement. 

Which Theo was breaking, with just a single kiss.

Just a simple kiss, and a light touch across Lapin’s cheek. 

Theo pulled away - only a second or two later - letting his hand fall to his side. 

He didn’t know what he should have felt, but he knew that he should have felt _something_. 

Something that wasn’t terrible regret and anger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i do love that i can spend my 21st birthday writing about a gummy bear and a chocolate bunny whilst sipping pre-mixed cocktail - this is the life
> 
> ~~I'm also utterly convinced that theobald's known about the sugar plum fairy for way longer than he's letting on~~


	3. hands so bloody, tastes like honey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really wasn't sure about a 3rd chapter until that last episode....  
> no explicit spoilers, but the angst tags gets a real workout in this chapter
> 
> chapter title from the prologue - halsey

If you’d asked Lapin, nothing short of the end of the world would have persuaded him to ask Sir Theobald Gumbar for help. 

(What a fun little lie it is to tell, too.) 

If you asked Theobald, nothing short of the end of the world would have made him help Lapin. 

(This lie was always a little harder to say convincingly.) 

They told these lies (and many more) for over a decade before the facade began to slip. 

*

The night before the Tournament, there was a knock at Theo’s door. 

As he had grown accustomed to over the years, he assumed it was a young Candian of the peppermint persuasion, and had already mentally prepared himself to gently (but firmly) sent Liam back towards his room with a reassurance that he would be fine during the Tournament tomorrow. 

The words were halfway out his lips by the time he’d opened his door, but they faded quickly when his eyes fell on who was stood there. 

“Good evening, Theobald,” Lapin said mildly. He was leaning on his staff a little, and Theo disliked how easily he still noted every little thing about him. 

“Chancellor, is something wro-" Theo began, but Lapin cut him off. 

“May I have a word before we both retire for the night?” He asked, something in his demeanour convincing Theo. (It wasn’t anything he could really name, but that rarely mattered). 

“Of- Of course. Come in,” Theo said, stepping aside. 

Theo’s chamber was small and sparsely decorated. He’d refused to bring more than what he would strictly need for the journey, plus some of his more...restricted items that had come in handy with teaching the Princesses. Even now, his armour was laid out on the writing desk, freshly polished, and his sword and shield rested next to them. 

(It felt strange to realise he didn’t feel vulnerable without his armour, at least not alone in a room with Lapin. If he was feeling cocky, he would say it’s because he knew he would win the fight). 

“So what’s on your mind, Chancellor?” Theo asked, choosing to stand even when Lapin sat on the edge of his (perfectly made) bed. 

“The Tournament tomorrow,” Lapin said, sparing a glance around the room before resting his haze on Theo, “What are your feelings about it?”

“Well... It’s a Grand Tournament. It’s meant to be some light competition before the new Emperor is announced,” Theo said, choosing his words carefully. 

Lapin nodded, digesting his words. 

“You signed up for the Joust, correct?” Lapin asked, probably already aware of the answer. 

“I did. I trust my jousting skills over my archery or melee,” Theo said, a small, nervous laugh creeping in at the tail of his sentence. 

“You’re a very skilled fighter, Theobald,” Lapin argued.

“I’m a better guard,” Theo shot back, allowing himself to fall into the familiar rhythm they always had. “And I’ve been jousting since I was a Squire.”

“That is true, I suppose,” Lapin said, throwing Theo off just a little bit. He expected Lapin to throw back another lazy insult or make up another point to argue about. 

So Theo changed tracks. 

“You missed most of the feast,” He said, trying to keep his voice neutral. 

“I was given leave to accompany the Pontifex,” Lapin admitted. The grip on his staff tightened for just a moment. Theo's brow furrowed and Lapin’s gaze flickered away for a moment. 

“Lapin,” Theo didn’t know what boldness took over him as he crossed the chamber and sat on the bed beside the Chancellor, “Is everything alright?” 

There was a long and terrible moment when Lapin was silent and Theo regretted the action. It was too forward, too much, he’d crossed some invisible boundary and there was no way to take it back- 

Finally, Lapin looked up at him. His expression was almost unreadable, but there was just the slightest worry in his eye. 

“I am not convinced we- _any_ of us are safe here,” He said quietly, barely loud enough to break the silence. Like he was afraid saying it out loud would somehow make it true, “I am worried for the children. They’re reckless enough within our own borders-“

“As long as they don’t stray too far, the children are-... They’ll survive this. They’re going to be fine. They’ve got the rest of us watching out for them-“ Theo said, assuringly. 

“That can only go so far, Theobald,” Lapin interrupted, remembering at the last second to keep his voice low, “Princess Jet is the Heir to the throne and she still doesn’t understand the weight of her actions. Liam is a ward of Candia whose father is an _enemy_ of the Concord, and Princess Ruby still hasn’t mastered her-... her newfound abilities. I don’t know how much we can do to protect them this far away from our home.” 

Theo was lost for words. He knew the Chancellor was a pessimistic person to begin with, but hearing it out loud made it sound so much worse. 

Impulsively, he reached a hand out towards Lapin, covering the hand that rested on his lap. 

“Both of us know we will do everything in our power to protect those children. We will also do everything in our power to protect the King. We haven’t failed in our duty yet, and as long as we’re smart about things, we’ll be fine.” Theo said, wishing it sounded more like a promise. 

Lapin studied his face for a long moment, scrutinising every detail he could, and Theo did the same. He could see the crows feet that had crept in over the years around Lapin’s eyes, the slight downturn of his mouth as he thought, the brief whitening of his knuckles as his hand flexed on his staff. 

Finally, Lapin opened his mouth, but it took two tries for him to speak. 

“I-... I don’t know why I came here to bother you, I apologise.” He said, standing up so suddenly he nearly tripped over his own staff. 

“Lapin-” Theo’s arm shot out and he grabbed Lapin’s arm to stop him. But as soon as he realised what he’d done, he let go - Lapin stopped, regardless. 

The silence was terrible. 

Theo didn’t consciously tell himself to stand, but he still did it. And he stepped towards Lapin, barely in his space. Far enough away not to crowd; close enough to reach out and touch. 

“You came here for a reason, Lapin,” Theo said, his voice low and gentle. “You’re not bothering me.”

Lapin was frozen, refusing to look at him. 

They’d been so careful, for all these years. 

So careful with their words, with their actions, with their proximity. Why was Comida threatening to undo all of that work?

“I- admit that something about my encounter with the Pontifex has left me feeling… a tad reckless.” Lapin said slowly, dragging his gaze up Theobald’s body up to meet his eye. 

Theo’s hand was frozen where it was, barely brushing against the sleeve of Lapin’s robe. Something in the air was changing - slowly enough to stop but only if they wanted to. 

“Lapin,” Theo said, distantly recognising the gravel in his voice, “this isn’t the time to be reckless.”

“I’m not _being_ reckless. If anything, I think I’m finally being honest,” Lapin said. 

“Honest about what?” 

“What do you remember of that night?” 

“Everything,” Theo said, without needing a beat to think through his answer. 

Lapin shifted his stance, ever so slightly, and Theo’s palm touched his sleeve. They were moving closer, unconsciously, magnetically. 

“Have your answers changed?” Lapin asked, only the slightest bob of his throat betraying him. 

“One of them has,” Theo admitted. 

“Which one?” 

“Take a guess, Chancellor.” 

“I’m going to assume it was the one about plunging a sword into my chest.” Lapin deadpanned. 

“No, I still stand by that one. Maybe more than ever,” Theo said. His hand was on Lapin’s shoulder now. 

“Then I’m afraid you’re going to have to spell it out for me, Theobald,” Lapin said. 

“The great Chancellor Cadbury can’t figure it out?” Theo teased, letting his fingertips gently brush against Lapin’s neck. He liked how Lapin shivered under his touch, and the very _depth_ of how much he missed it hit him all at once. 

Theo had barely had any... _encounters_ since they’d called off their arrangement - whether the excuse was his professionalism or a lack of time to court a partner - and whatever encounter Theo _did_ have was frantic, and messy and only physically satisfying. He wasn’t naive enough to think that it was because of Lapin; there are always more things happening. 

But it didn’t help how Lapin’s eyelids fluttered when Theo leaned in close, or how his heartbeat picked up when Lapin’s breath hitched.

“You need to ask me again, Lapin,” Theo whispered, his other hand finally grasping at Lapin’s hip. 

“Just kiss me, you goon,” Lapin said, the hitch in his voice undermining the irritation. 

For once, Theo obliged. 

It wasn’t the kind of kiss that could perform miracles, but there was something strange to it; the odd comfort of coming back to someone you once trusted and could maybe trust again. Like returning to the place of a favourite memory and walking along the same pathways, years later just to see how different it feels. 

Something crashed to the ground and Theo only realised what it was when he felt Lapin’s hands gently pull at his short hair (not that he really cared when he could feel Lapin’s jackrabbit heartbeat against his skin and short nails scratching at him in a desperate plea for _more_ ). 

Theo missed the ritual of these encounters. They had already passed the build-up of it - the half-playful taunts, the gentle touches, laying down the rules of the encounter in the subtext of words. 

But now they were in the next stage. When Lapin frantically clutched at every inch of Theo he could grab, and Theo kept the pace of his touches and his kisses _infuriatingly_ slow. Slow enough to draw out the little, frustrated noises; light enough touches that Lapin would _press_ and _push_ and _pull_ to try and spur him on further. 

Neither of them were ever willing to concede to the other at this stage; Lapin never reined in his frantic touch and Theo would never increase his pace, sometimes even slowing down further or breaking their kiss entirely for a moment. 

Theo gently started rucking up the robes to Lapin’s thighs. His resolve was wavering each time his knuckles brushed against Lapin’s skin, and he could _feel_ Lapin’s restraint wavering as well. 

Memory guided their movements as Theo hooked his hands underneath Lapin’s thighs and lifted him off the ground, Lapin curling his legs around Theo’s waist. 

A decade seemed to melt away in the time it took Theo to walk to the bed and lay Lapin down, hovering over him. 

It was easy to pick up where they’d left off. To relearn everything there was to know and all the little, new additions. How Theo liked when Lapin grabbed and clutched and held. How Lapin liked it Theo’s mouth on every inch of him, and those words Theo would mouth against his skin. 

The Chancellor’s robe was just as easy to peel off and discard as Theo remembered, ignoring whatever fell to the ground alongside it. 

His mouth was busy gently bruising Lapin’s collarbone - almost busy enough to not register the knock at his door. It wasn’t until Lapin froze underneath him and Theo pulled away that the outside world seemed to catch up to both of them. 

Theo cleared his throat before calling out to the door. 

“Yes?” 

“ _Is everything alright? We heard some loud noises._ ” The voice - that was distinctly Princess Jet - (‘why _was she out of bed at this hour?_ ’ Theo wanted to ask but didn’t) asked from behind the door. 

“I just dropped some of my armour while I was cleaning it,” Theo called back, watching the door to make sure it stayed closed and locked. He had to ignore how Lapin’s hands had resumed their wandering, lightly pulling at the waistband of his trousers. “Go back to bed, you need to rest for the Tournament.” 

“Hypocrite,” Lapin whispered, resting his bite on Theo’s shoulder. Just to tease him. 

“ _Alright… As long as you’re okay,_ ” Princess Ruby called, sounding genuinely concerned. 

“I’m fine, Princesses. I promise.” Theo called, his face heating up even more as Lapin resumed his actions.

“ _Goodnight, Theobald_.” 

“Goodnight, Princesses. Now go to bed.” He called. 

No further response came, and Theo finally let the tension leave him. 

“That was almost a close call,” Lapin said. He kept his words quiet, just in case they weren’t as alone as they assumed. 

“Definitely.” Theo agreed, finally turning away from the door. Lapin was looking up at him - a faint blush along his cheeks and the marks Theo had left in his wake barely visible. “Still think this isn’t reckless?” 

“Oh, this is definitely reckless,” Lapin promised, hitching his hips up _just_ enough to distract Theo from his thoughts, “Do you want to stop?” He asked. 

“Oh, never,” Theo promised, leaning in again without a second thought. 

*

Liam was asleep again, leaning against Theo’s shoulder. 

The cell Liam was subject to (and Theo was willingly watching over) was probably one of the nicer ones in Comida (no doubt due to Lapin calling for a public trial), but it didn’t make it any easier. 

Preston was asleep as well, curled up on top of Liam’s lap. Both of them were snoring. 

If it were any other night - maybe they would be camping out on the grounds of the castle, maybe the young ward and the Princesses wanted to spend a night in a new environment and dragged Theo along as protection - Theo would be annoyed by it. By the deep breathing giving way to two soft snores for every loud one. 

But that night Theo counted each sound and held his breath each time Liam fell silent for a little too long. Liam shivered in his sleep - just once - and Theo quietly adjusted the blanket around the ranger. Preston curled up a little more, and Theo gently petted the pig’s head. 

As he watched Liam settle back into sleep, Theo knew with every fibre of his being that he wouldn’t let anything happen to this child. 

Distantly, Theo knew dawn was approaching. (Wasn’t it always?). 

He twisted a wire in his hands, making no particular shape or pattern. It wasn’t a regular habit, and each second that passed wore down Theo’s resolve to keep the wire in his hands. 

Another guard finished their patrol, the door slamming heavily behind them. 

Theo let out a heavy breath, cast a look over his ward, and finally made up his mind. Quietly, he brought the wire to his mouth, disguising the motion as trying to warm his hands. The incantation of the spell was almost second nature by now. 

“ _I don’t know what happened at the Pyramid,_ ” Theo whispered into the wire, hoping he was still in range for the message to find its recipient, “ _but I really hope you’ve got a plan Chancellor_.”

He pulled his hands away, tucking them under his arms and hunching his shoulders forwards. It took a few seconds for the reply to come. 

_"I’m still working on that part, Theobald. But I will have a plan by the trial._ ” Lapin’s voice was barely comforting after the events of the day. 

Some stubborn part of him still wanted to hate Lapin - to resent all those years he didn’t believe the Chancellor, all those years he kept his secret pinned to the inside of his ribs for no reward at all. And if they hadn’t fallen into bed together again - broken that unspoken treaty between them - then maybe Theo would still be angry. Would still cling to that lump of smouldering charcoal that had settled in his chest like a tumour. 

A faint breeze in the cell made Liam shiver and Theo readjusted the blankets again, shifting slightly so Liam’s head wasn’t as an awkward angle. 

It felt too easy to be angry at Lapin for this entire situation. But even Theo - stubborn, loyal Theobald - knew that this wasn’t petty hatred. This was politics; the kind of politics that would kill someone to keep someone worse in power. 

Theo twisted the wire again, bringing it to his mouth. 

“ _What do you think are the chances I can get Liam out of here before the trial?_ ” Theo asked. They both knew it wasn’t a particularly _serious_ suggestion, but that didn’t mean Theo shouldn’t consider it. 

“ _You’re a very capable fighter, Theobald, but I don’t think even you could take on half the Imperial Guard and live,_ ” Lapin replied, the barest hint of humour in his voice. Theo smiled, despite himself. 

He pulled the wire to his mouth for the last time that night. 

“ _None of th- None of us are dying for the Church. We’re getting through this. For Candia._ ” 

It took a long moment for the reply to come. 

“ _We’re going to go home. For Candia._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im a sappy person in general, but I've cried twice in the last week over beloved fictional shows and that's too much right now. acoc and she ra really did me dirty this week, I'm too old for this

**Author's Note:**

> i spent so long listening to sweet/sugar/chocolate themed songs y'all
> 
> also i handed in my 3rd year dissertation yesterday and that high hasn't quite left yet, even with 2 more deadlines on Friday lol
> 
> I'm gothic-cepho on Tumblr and GothIntern on twitter


End file.
